Because every surrogate mother is different, your reason for choosing surrogacy is unique.
However, the motivation for this decision is typically the same: the altruistic desire to make a family’s dream of having a child a reality. There are many pros and cons of surrogacy. Being a surrogate mother is an amazing journey that changes the lives of everyone involved for the better. While being a surrogate is a rewarding experience, you should make sure you are carefully considering your decision.
Ask yourself the following:
- Do you enjoy being pregnant enough to carry another person’s child for nine months?
- Are you willing to take on the time commitment of surrogacy?
- Are you prepared to undergo fertility treatments?
- Do you have a support system?
- What is your motivation?
These are just a few of the surrogacy pros and cons you should consider before jumping into surrogacy. Becoming a surrogate is a selfless decision, but it’s important that this is something you truly want to do and that it will be a fulfilling experience for you as well.
Benefits of Surrogacy
There are numerous pros of surrogacy for everyone involved. You’re giving the intended parents the chance to have a child of their own, but you can also benefit greatly.
A Rewarding Experience
Whether they’re a couple struggling with infertility, a single intended parent or an LGBT couple, you are making a selfless decision to give someone the gift of parenthood. Making such an altruistic choice can be a greatly rewarding experience. Not everyone can handle the demands and requirements of surrogacy. If you’re one of the few that can, you should feel proud of yourself for committing to such an amazing act of kindness.
While financial compensation shouldn’t be the main driving factor in your decision to pursue surrogacy, it is definitely one of the benefits of surrogacy for many women. You won’t have to pay any legal or medical expenses throughout your surrogacy process — all of that will be covered by the intended parent(s). You will receive a base compensation and a monthly allowance to cover any bills and living expenses throughout your pregnancy. Many surrogates put this money towards paying for school, paying for a new home, paying off debt, etc.
A Lasting Bond
The friendship you form with the intended parents is one of the many benefits of being a surrogate mother. Because you are making such a selfless choice and giving the ultimate gift, many surrogates end up forming a strong connection with the person or family they are carrying for. In fact, many surrogates stay in touch with the intended parents after the baby is born through phone calls, emails, photos, etc. Surrogacy is an experience that can establish a lifelong connection if that’s what you want.
Getting to be Pregnant
While pregnancy can be one of the challenges of pregnancy, it’s also one of the benefits for many surrogates. Many women choose surrogacy because they love being pregnant enough that they are willing to carry a child for another family for nine months. From the “glow” many pregnant women experience to the joy of carrying and sustaining life, many surrogates are just as passionate about the pregnancy as they are bringing a child into the world for another family.
Challenges of Surrogacy
While surrogacy is a beautiful journey with many benefits, there are a few cons of surrogacy. You should be sure that you feel prepared to deal with the less glamorous aspects of surrogacy.
Surrogacy comes with a lot of commitments, one of the biggest being your time. When you factor in the screening process, finding intended parents, the embryo transfer and the duration of your pregnancy, you can expect to dedicate a year or more of your life to the surrogacy process. You will be asked to undergo fertility treatments for up to 12 weeks to prepare you for the embryo transfer. It’s not uncommon for the first embryo transfer to take the first time. It may take a few attempts before one results in pregnancy. While this is perfectly normal, it can add time to the process.
You will also need to attend various doctor appointments and consultations. This might cut into your job, family time and social life. On top of that, you will need to be prepared to change your lifestyle to accommodate your pregnancy. Pregnancy can be physically and mentally exhausting so you may have less energy to dedicate to the things you enjoy or everyday tasks.
Many women pursue surrogacy because they love the feeling of being pregnant and are more than happy to carry a baby for nine months, even if the baby will not be coming home with them. If you’re considering surrogacy, you most likely have already had a child of your own, as per most agency requirements. You’re no stranger to the physical and emotional challenges of pregnancy. While you may not be deterred by the idea of being pregnant when it comes to having children of your own, are you willing to take on these challenges when carrying a child for another family?
It’s an Emotional Time
The complex emotions that are sometimes associated with the process could be one of the surrogacy cons. While surrogates care deeply for the child they’re carrying, many report not feeling as attached as they did to their own child. In fact, many surrogates feel closer to the intended parents. This makes the transfer of the baby easier.
However, with the pregnancy hormones, the effect pregnancy may have on your day to day life and carrying a child for someone else, you might find yourself dealing with complicated emotions. This is part of what makes your decision to surrogate such a selfless decision; you’re willing to experience these emotions in order to give a family the gift of a child. If you have questions or concerns about the advantages and disadvantages of surrogacy, reach out to a professional today to get the support you need.