I Don’t Qualify for Being a Surrogate [Now What?]

If you’re seriously considering surrogacy, it’s likely that you have some knowledge of the general requirements to be a surrogate. Many of these qualifications are non-negotiable to ensure a safe, positive and successful surrogacy process. Some of the most important requirements surrogacy agencies have in place are:

• You must be within 21-45 years of age
• You must have had at least one successful prior pregnancy
• You must be physically healthy enough to complete the IVF and embryo transfer processes, and carry a child to term

If you don’t meet one of these requirements you might be wondering how to become a surrogate if you get denied by an agency. Is there a way to become a surrogate if you don’t meet all of the qualifications?

The answer isn’t as black and white as “yes” and “no.” Ultimately it depends on which requirements you didn’t meet and why. Your surrogacy professional may be able to work with you on a case-by-case basis. To get accurate answers about your situation, contact a surrogacy professional today.

“What If I Don’t Qualify for Being a Surrogate but I Want to Be One?”

While the requirements for surrogates may seem overwhelming, they all serve a common purpose: to protect everyone involved in the surrogacy process. We understand that becoming a surrogate could be a dream of yours and you are determined to give intended parents the chance to have a child of their own. But it’s important to recognize that these requirements are in place for the safety of you and the baby, and for this reason, there is no getting around most of them. If your surrogacy professional were to make an exception, this could result in:

• Physical harm to you
• Emotional and financial harm to the intended parents
• Legal harm for the professional

While your desire to help an individual or couple add to their family is admirable, meeting these requirements is imperative.

However, if you’ve found yourself in a situation where you meet all the requirements but your state’s laws on surrogacy prevent you from becoming a surrogate, this is an altogether different problem. Even if your surrogacy professional is able to help you, some states limit surrogacy to relatives, which can create legal complications for you as the gestational carrier.

Always be Transparent

If you’re determined to become a surrogate, but know you don’t meet one of the requirements, it may be tempting to be dishonest or omit information in order to be approved. While we respect your desire to help a hopeful person or couple, this is not the way to go about it.

Once your application has been accepted, you will be asked to undergo medical and psychological screenings and interviews to determine if you are adequately prepared to be a surrogate. It’s your surrogacy professional’s job to ensure that you meet all of the requirements and that you are physically, mentally and emotionally fit to be a gestational carrier. You will also need to present documentation such as medical records, birth certificates and letters of recommendation from your OB/GYN.

If at any point you omit or falsify any information on your application or during your screening process, you will be disqualified immediately. Lying during such a serious process is not recommended and will not only hurt you but the intended parents who invested their time and emotions in you as their surrogate.

It is always better to be honest, even if the results aren’t what you’d hoped for. Your surrogacy professional can’t help you or the intended parents unless she has a clear understanding of your situation. In fact, they may even be able to work with you on certain aspects of the surrogacy process as long as you are upfront.

How to Become a Surrogate if You Get Denied By an Agency

If you’re turned down by a surrogacy agency because you don’t meet one of their requirements, it’s a good indicator that surrogacy might not be in the cards for you. However, you still may be able to reach your surrogacy goals through independent surrogacy. Independent surrogacy is surrogacy without the assistance of an agency. This may allow you to find intended parents who are comfortable with your medical background or whatever qualifications you didn’t meet with the agency.

If this is the path you choose, you should do so with caution. If you are choosing independent surrogacy because you didn’t meet certain qualifications with an agency, you could be putting yourself and the intended parents at risk. You might not be physically or emotionally prepared to carry a child for someone else, which could be dangerous for you and the baby. Additionally, you’ll still need to meet the requirements of the intended parent’s fertility clinic, which typically mirrors an agency’s requirements.

While not meeting the requirements of a surrogacy agency can be upsetting, it’s important to remember these requirements exist for a reason. While your heart is in the right place, surrogacy just may not be in your best interest. However, there are other ways you can help people or couples have a family of their own, such as egg donation. If you don’t meet the surrogacy requirements but still want to be a surrogate, you can contact a surrogacy professional today to get the answers you need.